Health and Performance First

Probably the worst part of getting sick with a virus is the weight and strength loss. I have been sick with a terrible virus in my throat for two days. Reminiscent of the mono that put me in the hospital senior year of high school. I lost 17 lbs in 10 days back then. Thankfully, I have not lost that much this time around... Not yet, anyway. So far, I've lost 3 lbs in 2 days, but at that rate, depending on how long it takes for me to feel better it could be just as bad.

The last virus I had in November knocked me back about 7 lbs. I had to go back into the gym and get stronger at a lighter body weight which was frustrating. I'm at the point in life where I like being between 125-130 lbs because I perform best at that weight. Yes, a tinier waist might look better on the beach, but I don't care about that. I like front squatting 175# and deadlifting 205#. And I want to continue hitting PR's. So I begin to get nervous when I see the scale approaching 120 lbs because I worry that my ability to be strong is connected to retaining a slightly heavier body weight. It's something to explore emotionally, for sure.

Now, I recognize that this is a strange conversation to be having, as a woman. It surprises me too. Let me explain. When I was much heavier, 165 lbs, size 12, I was the size of an average American woman. When I changed my diet it was for my health. I never set out to lose weight. Weight loss happened as a by-product of a healthy lifestyle. Every time I fit into a smaller pair of jeans I'm shocked because it was never my main goal. My goals have included recovering from disease and improving the over all function of my body (read these previous posts: Gluten Free, Sclero Free? Systemic Sclerosis... Catalyst to Better Health? and The CrossFit Effect.)

My Before and After Photos are not for self promotion. In fact, don't even look at them. When I share my story, I don't want you to focus on the weight loss or the body composition changes. That's too easy. Too superficial. I want you to focus on the improvements to the quality, and very likely the length, of my life. Don't look at my "diet" or my "work outs" as a method to a smaller dress size. When I get on stage to compete in a figure competition someday, it will be to point to a healthy lifestyle not to boast in my own self-will. I eat Paleo not because I am conscious of my figure but because it is simply the only way to eat and avoid systemic inflammation. I CrossFit not because I want to be a size 0 but because I was told I would lose my ability to function like this and I like proving my doctors wrong. My photos may get your attention, but I want you to change your life because you want to live better, not just live skinnier.

Start putting your Health and your Performance in life (not just in the gym) first and I guarantee you everything will fall into place. Sleep well. Eat well. Play well. Love well. It is impossible to remain overweight, unhappy, sick, and immobile when you are proactive about living a life that is vibrant. Eat to live, not the other way around. Work out to support your nervous and musculoskeletal systems. Get 8 hours of sleep to maintain your joy and your sanity. Play with your kids. Live!!!!!

And then watch, if you want to, as the pounds melt away. Or maybe they don't, and you end up realizing your happiness is no longer connected to a number on the scale, and you simply live better in the body you have, whether it changes or not. Maybe that's what I need to do; stop fearing losing too much weight and just work at being strong no matter what the scale says. Maybe a good call to action would be for us to  throw the scales out all together! (Here comes the anxiety!) This concept is revealing some things I need to explore and write about. Another day, another blog post.

Bonne Chance!!!